The Empire Strikes Back: Meh

In my ongoing effort to catch up on all the stuff I missed as a child, I watched the second of the original three Star Wars movies, The Empire Strikes Back. Everyone told me how great it was, and that it's the best of the three. Well guess what. I didn't like it. It might in fact, be the best of the three movies, but that doesn't make it good. That's like saying that getting syphilis is better than getting herpes. Sure, it might be better, but it's still not good. Furthermore, you should know better than to be going out getting STD's.

Here's what I liked about the movie: it sets up the next one and Yoda shows up and he's kind of a dick sometimes. Also, my dogs seemed to enjoy two whole hours of couch time with me; I daresay they enjoyed the movie more than I did.



Here's what I didn't like: the story. I found Luke annoying and whiny. Leia is cool, I guess, but her hair is silly and she wears her pants way too high. How can that be comfortable? Believe me, if you were fighting in an epic rebellion, you would want to dress for practicality. Flowy tunics and wedgie pants are a terrible choice. Han Solo? Pass.

And another thing - Darth Vader goes through admirals way too easily. If these guys are so incompetent, he should just do stuff himself. After a point he should pick up on the fact that a micromanager is never happy and that he is a micromanager. He's wasting payroll to keep these guys around and then end up killing them anyway. No doubt that costs the empire in death benefits and costly funerals, not to mention the potential for lawsuits on the part of the bereaved. I understand his frustration. You hire people to do a certain job and to do it properly the first time around. After a point, though, you have to examine your hiring practices. Maybe Vader's want ads are too vague in their job descriptions, who knows?

Finally, there was one other thing I liked about this movie. Watching it finally made the title make sense. All these years it never occurred to me that The Empire Strikes Back had anything to do with the Empire striking back. Everything is illuminated.